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Topic Last Updated on 05-07-2024
Our guide is Ekaterine Shabutskaya, a physical therapist and specialist in neurological challenges. Her daughter lives with cerebral palsy.
How It Feels to Be Different
Try going outside with bright makeup on your face or wearing unusual clothing, such as a rainbow onesie or pink bunny pajamas. How would people look at you?
This is how people with limited mobility often feel when they’re out in public: they’re met with curiosity, fear, and sometimes disapproval. People either stare or turn away. Strangers are afraid to speak with them, smile at them, or ask for directions. This is one of the reasons why people with special needs sometimes prefer not to experience certain social interactions that most of us enjoy.
Depending on where they live, another reason is that many people simply find it very difficult to get around the city. Even today, subways, building entrances, and sidewalks in some areas are not wheelchair-accessible nor safe for people with walkers. Some buildings are constructed without ramps or elevators. Even if there is an elevator, sometimes it’s not big enough for a person with a wheelchair to enter and freely maneuver inside.
Because of this, some people with limited mobility prefer to stay home and read, study, or watch endless movies. Being a person with special needs means that you can be healthy but still stuck in an “eternal quarantine.”
People with special needs | It’s Not a Disease
All people are different. Some have red hair, while others have dark hair. Somebody are so tall that they have to stand in the bus hunched over, but others can’t even reach the handrails. Some walk, while others get around in wheelchairs. Some people can speak with their voice, while others — such as the late, famous astrophysicist Stephen Hawking — communicate only with the help of technology.
Without exception, all people have their own peculiarities. The main question is: do they prevent you from moving, communicating, making friends, or doing your favorite things? If a person has features that do not allow them to go about their usual life, it may seem that they are ill. But drawing the line between health and illness is not so simple.
With viral, bacterial, and fungal diseases, everything is straightforward. If you get exposed to harmful microbes, you fall ill and develop symptoms such as a cough or high temperature. Then you take medicine prescribed by your doctor, and eventually, the symptoms go away. You’re healthy again.
Some people are Deaf from birth but can hear with implants or hearing aids. When these devices work, some hear perfectly while others pick up ambient noises. If the device fails, they hear nothing. Are Deaf people disabled? The answer depends on society, not the individual. With access to sign language, quality education, and technology like cochlear implants (if chosen), Deaf people have the same opportunities as hearing people. Deafness is only a disability if society creates barriers.
Supporting Children with Limited Mobility
This is also true for children with limited mobility. Able-bodied people walk, communicate, and go to work. If a person can walk in a wheelchair or with prosthetics, communicate and learn using a tablet or computer, or work from home or a specially-equipped office, then it seems they were never really disabled in the first place. After all, they can do all the same things that able-bodied people do, only a little differently.
Accessibility for people with special needs depends on you. Befriend them, ask what assistance they need, or if they need any at all. As you grow older, design accessible buildings, create adaptive software, invent realistic prosthetics, and develop off-road wheelchairs. Achieving these goals will eliminate “disabled” labels, leaving just people, our friends.
People with Special Needs: Who Are They?
About 5% of people in the world live with some kind of physical limitation. If there are a million people in your city, then about 50,000 of them will have “special needs.” The most common conditions are cerebral palsy, autism, and Down syndrome.
Cerebral palsy is a spectrum of disorders, but they share one important condition: in people with cerebral palsy, the area of the brain responsible for movement is affected. This causes problems in how the brain controls the muscles. It is difficult for a person to maintain posture, move, and sometimes even speak (because the mouth contains muscles just like the arms and legs). Cerebral palsy has many causes. Examples include head injury (sometimes this happens right at the moment of birth), meningitis (inflammation of the meninges), or a stroke (when a brain vessel clogs and part of the brain stops receiving blood). Strokes occur not only in the elderly — they can occur in a newborn child or even in a fetus.
“Very often, a person with cerebral palsy can be trained to move better. This is done by physical therapists. Usually, people with cerebral palsy understand you perfectly, but sometimes, if their mouth is also paralyzed, they can’t answer you. In this case, they will nod, smile, or frown. It’s great if they have a tablet or laptop handy: they can listen to your question, type their answer, and a special program will read it aloud.”
“Extra” genetic material affects human development. People with Down syndrome have weak muscles, so they might walk a little bit on tiptoe, and they sometimes speak slowly and not very clearly. Also, because their brains work slightly differently, they learn at different rates.
“If you teach people with Down syndrome correctly, they successfully graduate not only from school but also from university, like the Spanish writer, actor and TED Talk lecturer Pablo Pineda. They also experience arthritis and heart disease more often than most people. Otherwise, they are no different from most people.”
Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Autism is more correctly called “autism spectrum disorder” (ASD), and the story is basically the same as with cerebral palsy: a wide variety of people with very different experiences are labeled autistic. All of them share a feature of the brain: as a rule, in ASD, a person begins to perceive signals either with exaggerated strength or too weakly. As with cerebral palsy, there are many causes of ASD. But while only motor control and skin sensitivity are altered in cerebral palsy, in ASD, the alterations often reach the brain areas responsible for visual, auditory, taste, or tactile sensitivity, as well as information processing, facial recognition, and emotions. These areas of the brain can be easily overloaded. Sometimes there are mixed variants of cerebral palsy and ASD, when a person has both at once.
We’re not exactly sure what causes ASD, but we do know what does not cause it. Scientists have analyzed the medical histories of 1.2 million children with autism, and they have clearly proven that vaccinations do not play any role.
Sticks and Stones
You should not limit your friends to their diagnosis. Many people really do not like it, because a person is always more than their physical features. It is impolite and unfair to view the presence of a wheelchair or speech difficulties as being the essence of a person. Your friend has a name —call them by their name. There are no special forbidden words or taboos that will definitely destroy your friendship, but there are some very common insults that would offend anyone. Your friend in a wheelchair would also be offended if you used these insults against them, for the same reasons any other person would be hurt. Don’t try to guess which words bother your friend or how they prefer to identify themselves. Get to know them better, and they will tell you all about it.
“Have you ever been annoyed by an itchy scarf? Some people with ASD perceive any piece of clothing this way — and some may not feel anything even if they put their hands on a hot stove.
Usually, the brain is able to filter out unnecessary information so that you’re not bogged down by the sound of a car that’s driving outside or all of the conversations going on in a noisy hall. The brains of some autistic people, however, continue to hear all sounds equally, and their brains cannot mute anything. As a result, the person gets tired and overwhelmed. Because of this, they can lose control of their actions.
If you have an autistic friend, be sure to ask what they don’t like and how you can help. For example, sometimes your friend might just need to bring along a pair of noise-canceling headphones that drown out extra sound, and they will quickly feel better.”
“Have you ever been annoyed by an itchy scarf? Some people with ASD perceive any piece of clothing this way — and some may not feel anything even if they put their hands on a hot stove. Usually, the brain is able to filter out unnecessary information so that you’re not bogged down by the sound of a car that’s driving outside or all of the conversations going on in a noisy hall. The brains of some autistic people, however, continue to hear all sounds equally, and their brains cannot mute anything. As a result, the person gets tired and overwhelmed. Because of this, they can lose control of their actions. If you have an autistic friend, be sure to ask what they don’t like and how you can help. For example, sometimes your friend might just need to bring along a pair of noise-canceling headphones that drown out extra sound, and they will quickly feel better.”
People with special needs | How to Have Great Conversation
More than anything, people with disabilities like it when people are interested in their opinions, behave sincerely, and ask directly whether they want or, conversely, do not want something. You can see for yourself: there are no “special features” to friendships with people with special needs. However, all people are different. To make friends with any person, you need to get to know them thoroughly. This will be easier if you follow five simple rules.
Don’t make special people invisible. Many of us were forbidden in childhood from staring at people with Down syndrome, and even more so from asking if we could ride in someone’s wheelchair. Don’t be afraid to smile at people with special needs, approach them, and get acquainted. Take our word for it: being invisible is not fun at all.
Don’t impose by offering too much help, and don’t do ordinary tasks that your friend can easily take care of on their own. A person in a wheelchair is unlikely to be able to climb a tree in it, but they can easily look after your bag and jacket while you climb the tree. Children with special needs want to be friends, to be included in a common cause, and to have their own share of responsibilities.
“My daughter is responsible for paper cutting in her class. She has a special button on her wheelchair that controls the electric scissors. It is important for her to participate in the class and help her friends.”
Communicating Your Needs in Friendship
Don’t be afraid to say what you need. Friendship is not an easy thing: tact, a sense of humor, ingenuity, and a willingness to help each other are required from all parties involved. So, it is perfectly normal to ask your friend to help with homework, give you a book to read, go to a cafe with you or help you choose a new T-shirt. If your friend asked for a favor, you would help, wouldn’t you?
